Saturday, December 20, 2003
My wishlist for this year...
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One is the Spirit of Confidence which I've Lost.
Two is the Strength to Carry my own cross.
Three is the Harmonious Atmosphere of my Adobe.
Four is the Assurance of Kinship everyday.
Five would be a Lovely Surprise that need not be expensive.
Six is the gift of Someone's Heart without Ulterior Motive.
Eight would be a DvD collection of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy.
Nine may sound lame but I'd want the Dvd/Vcd of Love Actually.
Ten already? Maybe a better time in School next year!!
Haha still much more but guess for now I'll End Here.
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Today I spent my day much like the usual. 2 days ago she msged me and asked if i was still angry with her. I really don't know what to feel there n then..In me was so much of "hate"...not the kind of hate for a person..just some kinda hate....but somehow i just replied a simple "nope...WAS"...i still couldn't bear to hurt her...Its just not me....I just can't do it....Other than that things have been going fine....Today played soccer at srjc for a Little while....then went to try the "famous" mock hokkien mee...we were talking so much that we didnt realise the soccer ball rolled away and someone took it!! argh..rotten luck....Then we went to talk kok at the play ground......we soon played around and had a small competition on the see-saw like gladiators....hhahaha so cool....played like little kids...all worries were just swept away and just the simplicity of kids overtook us. I had totally forgotten all my worries just like a little kid- With no worries. Well....time flew man...3 hours hhaa..soon was `10 and went home....oh yah...today sorta sprained my toes sia...tried external cross but kicked wrongly!! damm..hope it recovers soon or ill become a left legged..haha
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One is the Spirit of Confidence which I've Lost.
Two is the Strength to Carry my own cross.
Three is the Harmonious Atmosphere of my Adobe.
Four is the Assurance of Kinship everyday.
Five would be a Lovely Surprise that need not be expensive.
Six is the gift of Someone's Heart without Ulterior Motive.
Eight would be a DvD collection of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy.
Nine may sound lame but I'd want the Dvd/Vcd of Love Actually.
Ten already? Maybe a better time in School next year!!
Haha still much more but guess for now I'll End Here.
=======
Today I spent my day much like the usual. 2 days ago she msged me and asked if i was still angry with her. I really don't know what to feel there n then..In me was so much of "hate"...not the kind of hate for a person..just some kinda hate....but somehow i just replied a simple "nope...WAS"...i still couldn't bear to hurt her...Its just not me....I just can't do it....Other than that things have been going fine....Today played soccer at srjc for a Little while....then went to try the "famous" mock hokkien mee...we were talking so much that we didnt realise the soccer ball rolled away and someone took it!! argh..rotten luck....Then we went to talk kok at the play ground......we soon played around and had a small competition on the see-saw like gladiators....hhahaha so cool....played like little kids...all worries were just swept away and just the simplicity of kids overtook us. I had totally forgotten all my worries just like a little kid- With no worries. Well....time flew man...3 hours hhaa..soon was `10 and went home....oh yah...today sorta sprained my toes sia...tried external cross but kicked wrongly!! damm..hope it recovers soon or ill become a left legged..haha
Marcus "Marzipan" Tan last came on 12/20/2003 12:58:00 AM.
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
Today I shalt be abit different....Maybe time to write a real "blog" ? Haha.....OH well.....This Mornin went to play soccer at nyjc...Met kev at 10:30 outside my house..kao la..he cycle there make me run next to him lol!!! in the end reach there,found out that the main gate was closed! wtf...then we walk 1 big round, also all the gates closed or blocked...tHen we bo bian dowan to go 1 HUGE round to the small side gate, we cut thru the construction area where all the banglahs were....kao eh!...then we jumped over the fence and threw the bike over also...haha..tok abt sneaking in...We played quite long today, it rained halfway but was fun anyway...we ended abt 3+???? after that i followed ah neh to SSDC to sign up for PDL....damn wet n sticky on the bus. Lucky was a slight drizzle when we reached there. AFter waiting for freakig long it was finnally our turn...I had to borrow a ladies nets card becoz i only got cash..stupid sia..they dont accept cash lol....Oh and when we were leaving,it rained like hell..just great!....we ran in the rain with towel on our head like banglahs!!! Then we took a bus and froze in there....Went to eat milk prata outside my house....rushed everythig so was not that nice le.....then later i went to bathe n get dressed in 10 mins..hahah wore "shorts" and slippers to meet mom at orcahrd to watch love actually!!!...pia cab there and stupid jam..the fare was 12 bux k.....Enjoyed the show alot...really touching...almost cried some parts...damn sweet lor...but overall its ok ba......after that i saw beng n liting..he told me some adam khoo stuff hahaha......and i saw jiali with a guy(new guy)??? on the escalator..then now writing this entry before i go meet chia and tch to go nehs house to ton....tonite im gonna drink my worries away!Saw this grafitti on a bus seat once : Love Sux! Friends Rule!!
Oh yah..last nite i asked keith, Wendy whether they wanna come my house xmas party...i asked jasmine and donny too...hope they all can make it..first time i inviting poly frens haha.....I wanna ask beng hui too but later must invite too many ppl then i scared my mom not happy...i really feel bad le...i wanna invite everyone if possible....argh
Oh yah..last nite i asked keith, Wendy whether they wanna come my house xmas party...i asked jasmine and donny too...hope they all can make it..first time i inviting poly frens haha.....I wanna ask beng hui too but later must invite too many ppl then i scared my mom not happy...i really feel bad le...i wanna invite everyone if possible....argh
Marcus "Marzipan" Tan last came on 12/16/2003 10:20:00 PM.
Monday, December 15, 2003
Just another day again,
Strangely this time theres no pain.
Seems time has done its job real good,
Or is it just my friends who brought up my mood.
I found out the truth about 5 minutes ago,
Wasn't a surprise, just not easy to let go.
Read Wendy's blog earlier today,
Alots been happening, sad to say.
Sometimes I just wonder what is friendship all about,
Its not just the bond of 2 strangers who met in a crowd.
It has the power to forgive even the most heinous of crimes,
Staying strong through thick or thin, the worst and the best of times.
A bond of mine was recently stretched to almost its limit,
I dont know where it is heading now, not even a wee-bit.
But I guess people fade in and out of our lives,
Most are just casual Hi-Byes, Some our friends, for some maybe their wives.
I really wished it was the latter,
But seemed that it wasn't for the better.
Seems shes now back with the guy before me,
Somehow I've had a premonition of how this was to be.
Theres one phrase thats always stuck in my head like echo of churchbells:
"It hurts to see the one you love, Love someone else"
I thought about it alot when we were together,
Always wondered how he felt knowing she was with someone else's laughter.
Im not against them, I know shes happy,
I traded my own a long time ago you see.
Well I have to thank all my friends for being there,
Right from day one till today through wear and tear.
Im talking to alot of people tonight,
Haha, its been a long time since ive felt so bright.
Thanks Keith, for teaching me how to forget and get over it,
Thanks Joel, You've always had a way with words to help even if its a little bit.
Thanks Wendy, for hearing and bearing my crap over and over again,
Thanks Willy, Just for being there to make me laugh and stay Sane.
Thanks to all of you who were just being there when I needed you all,
All the advice, all the consoling, picking me up when I always fall.
To all Whom I didn't mention, Doesn't mean I forget,
Friends like you guys, Its something im truly honoured to get.
Love you guys!
And whatever happens,
Ill be there too,
Its a promise .......
15/12/03
Strangely this time theres no pain.
Seems time has done its job real good,
Or is it just my friends who brought up my mood.
I found out the truth about 5 minutes ago,
Wasn't a surprise, just not easy to let go.
Read Wendy's blog earlier today,
Alots been happening, sad to say.
Sometimes I just wonder what is friendship all about,
Its not just the bond of 2 strangers who met in a crowd.
It has the power to forgive even the most heinous of crimes,
Staying strong through thick or thin, the worst and the best of times.
A bond of mine was recently stretched to almost its limit,
I dont know where it is heading now, not even a wee-bit.
But I guess people fade in and out of our lives,
Most are just casual Hi-Byes, Some our friends, for some maybe their wives.
I really wished it was the latter,
But seemed that it wasn't for the better.
Seems shes now back with the guy before me,
Somehow I've had a premonition of how this was to be.
Theres one phrase thats always stuck in my head like echo of churchbells:
"It hurts to see the one you love, Love someone else"
I thought about it alot when we were together,
Always wondered how he felt knowing she was with someone else's laughter.
Im not against them, I know shes happy,
I traded my own a long time ago you see.
Well I have to thank all my friends for being there,
Right from day one till today through wear and tear.
Im talking to alot of people tonight,
Haha, its been a long time since ive felt so bright.
Thanks Keith, for teaching me how to forget and get over it,
Thanks Joel, You've always had a way with words to help even if its a little bit.
Thanks Wendy, for hearing and bearing my crap over and over again,
Thanks Willy, Just for being there to make me laugh and stay Sane.
Thanks to all of you who were just being there when I needed you all,
All the advice, all the consoling, picking me up when I always fall.
To all Whom I didn't mention, Doesn't mean I forget,
Friends like you guys, Its something im truly honoured to get.
Love you guys!
And whatever happens,
Ill be there too,
Its a promise .......
15/12/03
Marcus "Marzipan" Tan last came on 12/15/2003 11:56:00 PM.
Sunday, December 14, 2003
Today kinda fucked up!!!! sorry for vulgarities bear with it........just wrote this....dono whats wrong with life la.....this afternoon was having fun n all at SSB...then now feeling shit ?? wtf man..........Well...ive thought about it and made up my mind.....time to get on.....i dont give a Sh*t...................
-Why-
Once in a long while I miss,
Your kiss and your smile all top of my list.
How much my thoughts fluctuate,
My feelings of joy just dissipate.
Why does my mood always swing?
It feels good one moment, but next I feel the sting.
What is this I still feel inside?
Am I just trying to take everything in my stride?
Sometimes I just cant take it anymore,
I dont wanna go on, whats all this for?
You tell me things to make me feel fine,
But things always go wrong as I've seen many a time.
Best friends we were supposed to be,
Is this how you are supposed to treat me?
Ive done everything which I could and would do,
I tried my best, Tried to bring happiness to you.
Why did I get all this in return?
Looks like this is really a lesson to learn.
I swore to stand by you no matter what,
I never realised that it would be this hard.
Why is all this happening?
Its like a nightmare endlessly repeating.
Everynight on my bed I lie,
Trying to push out thoughts of you and I.
I dont wanna give up, but I guess I must
So this is it? Goodbye to our trust?
Why must it be like this way?
I thought we could go on every day.
I loved you, I really did and I really do,
Thats why I can never find enough words to say to you........
14/12/03
-Why-
Once in a long while I miss,
Your kiss and your smile all top of my list.
How much my thoughts fluctuate,
My feelings of joy just dissipate.
Why does my mood always swing?
It feels good one moment, but next I feel the sting.
What is this I still feel inside?
Am I just trying to take everything in my stride?
Sometimes I just cant take it anymore,
I dont wanna go on, whats all this for?
You tell me things to make me feel fine,
But things always go wrong as I've seen many a time.
Best friends we were supposed to be,
Is this how you are supposed to treat me?
Ive done everything which I could and would do,
I tried my best, Tried to bring happiness to you.
Why did I get all this in return?
Looks like this is really a lesson to learn.
I swore to stand by you no matter what,
I never realised that it would be this hard.
Why is all this happening?
Its like a nightmare endlessly repeating.
Everynight on my bed I lie,
Trying to push out thoughts of you and I.
I dont wanna give up, but I guess I must
So this is it? Goodbye to our trust?
Why must it be like this way?
I thought we could go on every day.
I loved you, I really did and I really do,
Thats why I can never find enough words to say to you........
14/12/03
Marcus "Marzipan" Tan last came on 12/14/2003 12:53:00 AM.