Thursday, August 19, 2004
Its funny, funny how the journey called life can be so ironic, so deceitful, so full of twists, yet it holds such beauty, such love, such meaning. The roads are so twisted that one can barely see whats coming next. Im confused, confused and the constant question of why things happen keeps popping up inside my head...It feels really terrible, knowing nothing can be done...What good is a shepard if even he hath lost his sight. Would I ever be able to find the crook?
Its been a terrible on and off mood the past few weeks..."a flurry of madness" so true indeed. It seems im always bothered with stuff, wether it rgds me or not. Being a thinker sucks at times i guess? I think abt practically anything and everything and deep down i still need to find myself.......Prehaps theres a lesson behind everything, I feel that there is always something to learn, just like school, we hate the boring classes and what the teacher teaches...But how we approach that redefines what we know..we can either choose to listen and adapt and learn, or just choose ignorance and end up learning the hard way....However difficult it is, the former is what everyone aims to achieve, but the lessons can get soo difficult to comprehend at times. bah....lost in constant blabber, lost in constant angst, lost in everything..too lost in you
Drunk? High? These are all words to describe rubbish spouting nonsense coming out of ones mouth...But have u ever wondered if those were really nonsense or did it make too much sense to believe? I dont know...ive not drank for weeks, it feels good to drink away sorrow...but when reverie has me in grasp, I get sucked back to reality. and it makes it all worse- like falling into boiling water after being frozen. I realise things are never the way I wanted, the way everyone wwants...My probelms are prolly just minute compared to others..am i even worthy of their consolement? wth.....i dont even knwo what im saying...i think ive repeated thigs like tousands of times already....im just frantic...Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....
sch....dont wanna talk abt that...its another problem sigh...
Its been a terrible on and off mood the past few weeks..."a flurry of madness" so true indeed. It seems im always bothered with stuff, wether it rgds me or not. Being a thinker sucks at times i guess? I think abt practically anything and everything and deep down i still need to find myself.......Prehaps theres a lesson behind everything, I feel that there is always something to learn, just like school, we hate the boring classes and what the teacher teaches...But how we approach that redefines what we know..we can either choose to listen and adapt and learn, or just choose ignorance and end up learning the hard way....However difficult it is, the former is what everyone aims to achieve, but the lessons can get soo difficult to comprehend at times. bah....lost in constant blabber, lost in constant angst, lost in everything..too lost in you
Drunk? High? These are all words to describe rubbish spouting nonsense coming out of ones mouth...But have u ever wondered if those were really nonsense or did it make too much sense to believe? I dont know...ive not drank for weeks, it feels good to drink away sorrow...but when reverie has me in grasp, I get sucked back to reality. and it makes it all worse- like falling into boiling water after being frozen. I realise things are never the way I wanted, the way everyone wwants...My probelms are prolly just minute compared to others..am i even worthy of their consolement? wth.....i dont even knwo what im saying...i think ive repeated thigs like tousands of times already....im just frantic...Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....
sch....dont wanna talk abt that...its another problem sigh...
Marcus "Marzipan" Tan last came on 8/19/2004 02:01:00 AM.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Its study week now, how interesting eh. Why can't they just put the hols after the tests? I'd rather finish all the tests then have a holiday for people to enjoy or catch up to the topics covered. I really hate having sch after test week.hah. I've been studying but not that much, like 1 chapter per day??? I really think I ain't gonna make it DOH >< Time really is flying while you're enjoying..Yeah its only tuesday but before u know it its tuesday again, waking up hours earlier and sleeping with notes for pillows. Gonna play tennis again sometime soon- Work on Service!!!
On a Side note, things are a little better. Still caught up in this mess inside my head. I can't help it myself, I always find myself thinking- Sometimes too much. Being a thinker means being stuck in this stupor or dreamworld like 40% of the time. Too absorbed in one's thoughts I contemplate the different outcomes and what they would mean and all...silly rite? Shud just let things happen as they would. like I said, Can't help it.
Ugh
Flipping through the pages
I find knowledge within
A gift to last the ages
The light never dim
On a Side note, things are a little better. Still caught up in this mess inside my head. I can't help it myself, I always find myself thinking- Sometimes too much. Being a thinker means being stuck in this stupor or dreamworld like 40% of the time. Too absorbed in one's thoughts I contemplate the different outcomes and what they would mean and all...silly rite? Shud just let things happen as they would. like I said, Can't help it.
Ugh
Flipping through the pages
I find knowledge within
A gift to last the ages
The light never dim
Marcus "Marzipan" Tan last came on 8/17/2004 10:56:00 AM.