Friday, February 24, 2006
The eerie calmness of it all scared me most. I could still think, i could still feel normal. But there was this overpowering grasp choking me, ripping my spine, refusing to let go, just channeling all my angst.
So i rammed my fist against the wall. Well, more like smashed it. And It felt just so calm in between the shoutings. I said i was ok, but as i went to the mess and back, it felt worse for another second and that overpowering feeling took over me again. I screamed and sent a chair flying, returning to my room to unleash even more fury on my hapless cupboard. It felt so wrong. it felt so crazy. It feels like fuck
I was fucking losing it between seconds of madness. and yet i remained sane, between seconds of calmness.
my hand still hurts..
But It scares me...These are thoughts that kill people..These are thoughts that will kill me